25 words? Sounds easy, doesn't it? But beware, your logline can be the wind in your sails that blows you all the way to Hollywood - or it can be the ton of lead that’ll sink your ship like a rock.
When the person he loves, dies, Joseph, an African ‘Looky Looky Man’, who sells fake designer handbags from a pavement in Naples, becomes the Camorra’s greatest threat.
Hi Barbara - that doesn't work for me. I don't get the hook. Why would he become the Camorra's greatest threat? A) Did they murder his lover and B) does he have any special skills that would make him a threat? Then it might be something like: >>> After the Italian Mafia murders his lover, an unassuming African immigrant uses the wartime skills he thought he left behind forever to take down the Camorra, one by one. <<< What do you think?
Joseph was a kidnapped child soldier, in Uganda, who has entered Europe illegally to find a safe and peaceful place for his wife and son. Two factions of the Camorra are at war … not his war… until his wife is killed in a bomb explosion.
Be my guest, of course you can use it. But, as always with these loglines, it can be tighter/better. So use it, by all means, but continue to improve on and polish it. Cheers, D
Daniel how is this?
When the person he loves, dies, Joseph, an African ‘Looky Looky Man’, who sells fake designer handbags from a pavement in Naples, becomes the Camorra’s greatest threat.
Hi Barbara - that doesn't work for me. I don't get the hook. Why would he become the Camorra's greatest threat? A) Did they murder his lover and B) does he have any special skills that would make him a threat? Then it might be something like: >>> After the Italian Mafia murders his lover, an unassuming African immigrant uses the wartime skills he thought he left behind forever to take down the Camorra, one by one. <<< What do you think?
Thanks Daniel. I like that.
Its actually for a book.
Joseph was a kidnapped child soldier, in Uganda, who has entered Europe illegally to find a safe and peaceful place for his wife and son. Two factions of the Camorra are at war … not his war… until his wife is killed in a bomb explosion.
And yes he goes after them one by one.
Actually I really like yours. Can I use it?
Be my guest, of course you can use it. But, as always with these loglines, it can be tighter/better. So use it, by all means, but continue to improve on and polish it. Cheers, D
Yes if course. Will do. Thanks Daniel.