The joys of first drafts

It was the first months of 2006, lots of research done, and I was deep in the first draft. First drafts are bliss, they are creative flights of freedom and possibilities.

In this Substack I’m recounting the journey of my film adaptation of The Coffee Trader - an epic undertaking that delivered a great script about a forbidden Jewish love story in 1650 Amsterdam in a world of double crosses, hidden agendas, murder, excommunication - and coffee, of course!

If you’re new to the journey, here are the posts about what’s happened so far: getting approached about doing an adaptation (and the hesitation of doing one); being in the room where it happens (about pitches and being human); writing the proposal (the full proposal and thoughts about making strong choices); waiting for the Go (about deadlines and retaining one’s balance); research in Amsterdam (where that Golden Age history is still omnipresent; and finally, if you’re can’t wait to discover The Coffee Trader - here are both the first and the final script.

I’ve written about the perfect length for scripts before. The basic rule is this: If you’re unknown in the film industry, particularly in the US, your script better be sharp and coming in at around a hundred pages. Too short or too long reeks of amateur and it’ll never even get past the readers. Once you have a track record, that rule goes out the window. The rule also goes out the window, when you’re hired for a gig and have discussed it with your producer - as I did for The Coffee Trader.

First drafts are glorious times, the times before you have to get everything right and crisp, the times when you can - and should! - explore wide and far. My first draft came in at a whopping 169 pages. I had talked about it with my producer and he had agreed that this exploration was important. And so I layered in more subplot and more characters and simply flew with them all, well knowing that I’d have to kill some of those darlings in later drafts.

There’s a scene in Milos Forman’s Amadeus (see below), when Salieri sees some of the things Mozart has written … and to his astonishment he finds that there is not one single correction Mozart made to his compositions. It was, as Mozart put it to paper, absolutely perfect in every way.

Mozart’s genius is just that - genius - nothing that anyone should aim for. As screenwriters, we are creative, for sure - but great films are never the result of spontaneous perfection, they are the result of intense collaboration and the power of distillation. The joy of the first draft is that you get to play around, go wide and far, try and explore and finally deliver something that, while far too expansive, will still deliver on the core promise (the proposal) you made.

From a first draft - that solitary joy - the real work of collaboration begins. On this note, I’ve learned to separate the world that is the first draft, from the world of collaboration. I can assure you, if you can master that, it’ll make you a better collaborator - and it’ll keep you sane!

I delivered the blissfully bloated first draft on the 18th of March 2006, sending it both to my producer and my agent, writing:

I’m done. Packed story, great setting, vibrant characters, twists and turns, mysteries and surprises galore. I've loved living in 1658 Amsterdam these past months and the script really does live and breathe the Golden Age of Amsterdam... and you'll definitely feel the urge to get a cup of coffee!

As mentioned, this is a long first draft at a whopping 169 pages. But I hope you enjoy the story as much as I do and we'll worry about cutting and adjusting when we dive into the next draft.

Although I have closely followed the proposal and subsequent update thereof, I decided on adding one new element: A new character named DIEGO. He's hugely important on many levels and when you read the script, you'll instantly see why. I'm confident you'll enjoy this wonderful character as much as I do, he's definitely enriching our story.

A few days later I heard from my agent, who immediately passed it on to a few readers for initial feedback. A few weeks later I also had the producer’s notes. What a joy it is when you’re not left in limbo, waiting for feedback. His notes were detailed and clear, most helpful. In his introduction, he wrote:

The first daft has a very good pace forward, strong characters, witty dialogues, all the ingredients for the love story, a precise grasp of the trading implications. It has a full range of adventurous scenes, a rich note for the historic context in which the story is situated.  There are already many scenes with a high tension, or also a great tenderness. The first draft is indeed a good basis for the next steps.

Where we all agree: the script is far too long, and perhaps, strangely enough, even far too rich. And at the same time I do agree: much better to work on from a very rich first draft, then from the opposite. It is better to reduce and to tighten, then to have to fill up story that is weak and poor.

And there you have it - first draft done and delivered. With a happy producer’s concise feedback, it was time for a few meetings to discuss every aspect of the first draft, what to take, what to leave, and how to proceed into the next stage. By the way, at this early stage, there’s valuable feedback, and then there’s everything else. Learn more about that here.

Stay tuned to find out how the saga of the feature film adaptation adventure of The Coffee Trader continued!