Nobody knows anything

William Goldman’s famous quote about Hollywood continues: "Not one person in the entire motion picture field knows for a certainty what's going to work.". As a screenwriting newbie, take it to heart.

Well, of course the ‘Nobody knows anything’ is a bit hyperbolic. But the quote has value and what he meant, of course, was that no one in Hollywood knows what will and will not work at the box office. There’s tons of guess work, down to every beat of every scene, but a great deal more than the script needs to come together for the magic to happen. And that magic will always be, despite everything we think we know, unpredictable.

I could have picked any number of images of William Goldman-penned movies - the man sure left a glorious legacy of movie magic: from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid to All the President’s Men and from Marathon Man to The Princess Bride. His skills didn’t always hit the mark, take The Hot Rock (very uneven, with a few fine moments) or Memoirs of an Invisible Man (‘comedy-drama’, John Carpenter and Chevy Chase should never be a combination), or the forever trashed Year of the Comet), but there you have it - even he did not know.

Goldman knew that it’s always a guessing game - some films will fly and the reasons will forever be hazy, at best. And others, despite the best talent money can buy, fall flat. Good writers will improve a film’s chances, that’s for sure - but there’s never, ever, a certainty that success follows. Even if Goldman’s passed away in 2018 and his films may feel like distant Hollywood history to you, I’d suggest you should take a break from your current manuscript and read Goldman’s Adventures in the Screen Trade. Filled with anecdotes and Hollywood lore, it will leave you with that one clear insight - no one, not the most knowledgeable of them all, know what’ll work.

As a beginner, thirty years back, that insight was actually helpful to me. It didn’t leave me uncertain and confused, it made me realize that I had just about as much of a chance of making it in this crazy business as everybody else out there. Those chances are always tinier than tiny, but they are there - and we are dreamers, aren’t we?

The fact that nobody knows anything doesn’t mean you have what it takes - it just means that you should start by believing in yourself.

If nobody knows anything - then how come there are so many how-to books out there? Here’s the thing: As you start out on your screenwriter journey you’ll want to learn, of course. You’ll read the many how-to books, you’ll attend the workshops, the seminars and the conferences - and you’ll follow gurus, forums and blogs. All of the above have their useful bits (yes, they actually DO know something - they just don’t know everything) - but don’t fall into the trap of believing in others, believe in yourself. Besides, all of the above are also dangerous. They can keep you from writing, they can stop you in your tracks. They can serve as indefinite excuses, as there’s always something more for you to learn before you actually begin with your brilliant story.

Watch every movie, read every script, read the how-to books - but please, do keep it all in perspective. Gurus will tell you exactly what is and what is not acceptable, what is right and what is wrong. There is some common knowledge shared by all gurus, but there is also grandstanding.

So always remember Goldman’s words, nobody knows anything. It’s a useful reflection point whenever you’re deep in your story and something you’ve read or heard surfaces from the back of your head and tells you that ‘you can’t write it like that’. Learn from others, by all means - but don’t be ruled by what you’ve learned. Let those insights be guiding posts, useful reminders - but know that you can break rules if you feel that the breaking of a rule here or there will allow you to tell your story in the strongest possible way.

Over the course of my life as a professional screenwriter I’ve agreed to read countless spec scripts. I’d say that ninety percent of them were bad. That’s just the way it is, you start out - and then hopefully you write and you won’t stop writing and your fourth of fifth spec will flow, will have what it takes. It’ll make sense, it’ll give the reader rich characters and tremendous obstacles - it’ll also give the reader the unexpected, the twists, the turns and - hopefully - the joy of your own special voice. And that there is then still only just the grain of sand that might find its way into the Hollywood oyster one one fine day become a pearl.

We’re screenwriters - we must be nuts.

Once a script has made it into the hugely unlikely development stage, a million and one things will still need to come together, for the script to actually be produced. Odds against any film ever happening are always terrific. With the odds so dramatically against us, screenwriters must be nuts. Or dreamers. Crazy dreamers. Reminds me of the old Apple ad that never fails to send to give me goosebumps.

Yep, just got goosebumps again.

You’re the writer. You’re the crazy one. Believe in yourself. Learn the rules so that you can break the rules. You must write. If you don’t, you’re not a writer. Simple as that. Some will compliment you on your writing, some will reject you - don’t let anything stop you. Don’t be lulled by praise and don’t wallow in the inevitable swamps of rejection. Just keep writing.

The act of writing in itself is magical - a nightmare to think I couldn't write anymore. I know that I'll always will - it juices me, it liberates me, it drives me, it makes my life fuller, richer, better. I know that I’d write even if no one would ever read any of the words I assemble in a particular order.

So there’s that - nobody knows anything … and that makes the film business forever hugely uncertain. But I do know one thing - I love writing, it makes me happy. I think that’s a pretty solid place to be.

Go here for all 12 screenwriting principles

Enough for today.

Cheers!

D